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Group on Monday was a little shelter from the frigid outside. Twelve of us gathered and started off with a meditation to slow down and create space for each other. We all know how hustling around, especially with our faces scrunched up as we speed walk through the cold, can start to make us feel closed off to what surrounds us.

Bilal kicked us off by bringing up the challenge of transitions, whether it be the start of the semester at school, the first few months on a new gig, or the move to a new place. Many of us agreed that we feel some loss of control over our stuttering during a transition. More than a few people spoke up about how sharing with others that we stutter, or “advertising” can relieve stress and even bring back some of the control we thought we lost. Advertising doesn’t always have to sound like “Hi. I’m Roisin and I stutter.” We can also advertise in subtle ways, by sharing that we are having a difficult day or about this weird but cool group we are apart of. Anything that can soften the rigid wall that we habitually put up to hide this part of ourselves.

Eventually the conversation came to the topic of feeling comfortable while speaking. We shared stories of total discomfort while speaking, often in professional settings that are competitive and demanding. One of the members who had done an intensive therapy that focused on avoidance reduction and desensitization to stuttering recounted all the “space” she felt soon after graduating the program, and how she could stutter comfortably and communicate joyfully for awhile, but eventually the tension and shame snuck back in.

We encouraged each other to remember that many of us spent our formative years either feeling bad about the way we talk and/or ambitiously trying to “fix” it. Our brains are really good at those negative feelings, those pathways in the brain are highways, once we get on them we can go from 0-60mph. Perhaps we need to do things like stuttering openly in safe places (like group) or challenging ourselves to stutter as if it isn’t a crime at work and school. We can exit the highway and take the scenic route every once in awhile….

Thanks for coming everyone!

Until March…

BK Leaders