December Recap

by Michael Taub | Dec 26, 2016 | Recaps

We had a great December Midtown meeting with 25 people in total, including four first-timers! Thanks to everyone who came out! Afterwards, some of us crossed the street and hung out for a bit at the bar, which is always a good time.

Members discussed social anxiety that sometimes surfaces during the holidays, advertising our stuttering during social situations, and the ideas of introverts vs. extroverts. Socializing is a major part of the holiday season and as one member brought up, it can be very stressful. Some members discussed how advertising could help with anxiety, while others preferred to reserve advertising for something a little more intimate. This led some of us exploring what it meant to be an introvert vs. extrovert and what that meant for our relationship with stuttering.

We talked about why we stutter more or less with certain people or in certain places or social situations. We also touched upon the importance of acceptance in general; not just acceptance of stuttering but in other areas of our lives too. Someone talked about how he was stuttering more than usual at holiday parties, and didn’t mind the stuttering as much as he minded the often subconscious decisions to speak less or not say something. We also discussed the importance of accepting ourselves when making these decisions too. We don’t need to feel bad about ourselves if we don’t always say everything we want to say.

We talked about what we mean by acceptance. It doesn’t mean not feeling fear. It’s more about feeling fear and accepting that fear: not “awfulizing” it in our mind, not criticizing ourselves for feeling fear, not trying to make the fear go away; being kind and compassionate to ourselves while we experience fear.

We discussed how it is natural for stressful family situations or conflicts to sometimes exacerbate our stuttering, and we delved into some strategies we could use to manage our relationship with our stuttering during these times. Advertising, voluntary stuttering, and being more open in general about our stuttering with people close to us all came up as important tools that could help us through these challenging times. We had a dynamic conversation about these strategies, and many members – returning members and first-timers – contributed with unique and valuable perspectives:  the importance of pushing our comfort zones, of acknowledging all of our successes even if the outcome isn’t exactly what we hoped for, the importance of not aiming for fluency, and the need to take things one step at a time.

What a thought-provoking, motivational, and inspirational meeting! We can’t wait to see you all again in January!

Announcements:

Brooklyn group: The next Brooklyn chapter meeting will be Monday January 9th. Check out their site here for all info.

Next Midtown group meeting will be TUESDAY January 17th  (it will be on the third TUESDAY in January – NOT monday – due to Martin Luther King Day.  Check out our site here for all info.

We’re figuring out a social event for sometime in January. More info to follow soon.

Getting involved: We’re always looking for new ways to continue to strengthen our growing stuttering community. Shoot us an email: midtownstutters@gmail.com with any ideas

September Recap

by Michael Taub | Sep 28, 2016 | Recaps

We had a great September Midtown NSA meeting with 25 people in total. This included 21 people who stutter (PWS), 3 speech language pathology (SLP) students, and one other person who came to lend support. Thanks to everyone who came out, and special thanks to the 1 first-timer who came (we hope to see you again at our next meeting)!  Afterwards, a bunch of us crossed the street and hung out for a bit at the bar, which is always a good time. I hope you enjoy our recap below:   🙂

As usual, the prevailing concept of advertising came up in one of our discussion groups, and the perspectives during the meeting seemed more varied than usual. One member explained how advertising wasn’t for him because he didn’t want people to feel bad for him. Another member talked about how his advertising has played a large role in setting him apart, showing determination and strength. Career-wise, he said that he even owes much of his success to his stuttering. Similarly, another member shared his story about how he hid his stuttering from most of his co-workers during his internship but finally advertised at the end of it during a presentation. He viewed it as a game-changer. And yet another member seemed convinced that controlling and managing his stuttering was the appropriate route for him.

Another discussion group talked about the idea of explaining in a cover letter for a job application that she is  a person who stutters. Different group members discussed their thoughts about this. Can this convey your uniqueness to the employer? Is it better to leave this out of the cover letter and then talk about it during the phone interview or as part of the in-person interview? Does mentioning our stuttering in a cover letter help us by speeding up the process of weeding out any employer who wouldn’t accept us as people who stutter? And wouldn’t this, in turn, de-stress the whole job-search process for us in the long run? The group touched upon these and other related questions, and ultimately decided that there is no perfect answer to this question. So much of this depends on the field in which you are applying for a position, your goals, etc.

Within this same conversation group, another member asked if stuttering should be considered a disability. This led to various members talking about the connotations brought up by the word “disability” itself. The conversation touched upon the idea that the word “disability” may be associated with negative feelings, but that also some people may be ok with, and might even embrace the concept of “disability”, and that we might consider the idea that all people are “disabled” in various ways, and that this is part of what makes us varied, interesting, and unique individuals. Again, there was no conclusive answer to this discussion, but it is clear that the relationship of stuttering to the word and concept “disability” is complicated, emotional, and at the very least allows for rich, thoughtful discussions about the NSA’s role both as a support group for people who stutter, and as a source of education for people who do not stutter.

Our other conversation group spoke about the experience of having a total “brain freeze” during the moment of stuttering, and how actually you can lose your train of thought- a frustrating but common phenomenon for many PWS. One member expressed interest in having an MRI measure brainwaves to determine what is actually happening when they go into that ‘block’. Other members expressed curiosity about this, and discussed if anything like this had been  studied before. Another member discussed an additional challenge: In addition to stuttering, he speaks another language, which also sometimes makes it challenging to express himself. However, the group agreed that he was a very articulate young man, and that he was on a trajectory of continued success. (He also had a very positive attitude!)
Announcements:

The new NSA Bronx Chapter needs your help!!!! Do you know of a venue in the Bronx area for the Bronx chapter to use as their meeting place? If so, reach out to us at nsamidtown@gmail.com and we’ll pass the message along to the new Bronx Chapter leaders 🙂

SLP student Informational Group: November 7th:       We have had a larger than average interest from SLP students in wanting to attend our monthly support groups. Since it is very important for our group to maintain the appropriate atmosphere during meetings, we often have to limit the number of SLPs and SLP students that join us. But in November we’ll be having an extra meeting for any members interested in some sort of combo between a support group and a panel to educate SLP students. Stay tuned for more details.

We’re starting to plan for an event in Central Park for International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD). The event will be on Sunday Oct 23rd. This will be a great way to get involved in the stuttering community in an exciting, empowering way. Look out for emails with more details about this in the near future.

Brooklyn group: The next Brooklyn chapter meeting will be Monday October 10th. Check out their site here for all info.

Getting involved: We’re always looking for new ways to continue to strengthen our growing stuttering community. Shoot us an email: midtownstutters@gmail.com with any ideas

August Recap

by Michael Taub | Aug 23, 2016 | Recaps

Hey everyone! Great group last Monday night! I enjoyed seeing so many familiar and new faces, and I hope you all benefited from some good ol’ support group good times!

In one of our conversation groups, the topic of dread came up, specifically when we as people who stutter introduce ourselves. One member asked if this feeling could stem from an evolutionary instinct. In today’s society, vulnerability is an important tool that can be used as an asset in countless situations, but perhaps it wasn’t this way 100,000 years ago when imminent survival was the priority. Or maybe it was. Another member wondered if this feeling of dread comes from the “surprise factor” associated with stuttering, meaning that we might sometimes feel we appear “normal” at first, while at the same time we know that we aren’t able to hide stuttering as well as non-stutterers may be able to hide things they’re dealing with…and that we know it’s only a matter of time until our stuttering is “revealed”. It could be a combination. We don’t know. But regardless, it sure made for an interesting conversation.

One member in another conversation group  raised the great question  “why do we go around in a circle and introduce ourselves when a lot of people who stutter are terrified of it?” We talked about how doing this allows us to feel a sense of instant community and support when you look around and instead of seeing “weird looks” and confused faces, you see patience and listening. It also gives us practice for when this happens (and it happens a lot) in other situations. This led to a discussion about the perceived importance of names in our culture. It sometimes seems that people are more concerned with the response to everyone’s favorite question, “What’s your name?”** instead of caring more about the depth of the actual conversation.

In one of the groups we talked about how the pace of New York City is so different than that of any other city, and that this can affect how we feel about stuttering and how others react to stuttering. We also discussed the importance of standing up to authority figures at work when being talked down to, when being ‘helped’ (by others filling in words for you, or when you aren’t given the opportunity to perform certain tasks), or if you are just downright discriminated against. We mentioned the importance of being strong for your self worth and also for the community!

We also explored the idea that some of our struggles as people who stutter may be intertwined with our awareness of certain gender-based stereotypes that unfortunately still exist in modern society. For example, one of our members said that fluent men sometimes tell her that her stuttering is “cute”, and that she (understandably) feels aggravated and annoyed by this. A couple of guys in our discussion group then said that they sometimes also get frustrated because of the (outdated, unfounded, and untrue) idea that men should be strong, assertive, etc. and that stuttering conflicts with this. We also talked about the challenges associated with taking on more responsibilities at your job. This is usually a reflection of your strong past performance at work, but this still can be scary, at first, as a person who stutters. We discussed how advertising can be very helpful and important in these types of situations, especially when first taking on more of a leadership role.

**I’d like to take this opportunity to firmly state that this is NOT my favorite question. (hahaha)

***There’s no connection between the panda picture and our August meeting. This is just a really cute panda. Seriously, how cute is that panda?!?!?!?

Announcements:

The new NSA Bronx Chapter needs your help!!!! Do you know of a venue in the Bronx area for the Bronx chapter to use as their meeting place? If so, reach out to us at nsamidtown@gmail.com and we’ll pass the message along to the new Bronx Chapter leaders 🙂

You can help the broader NSA community to further assist the NSA members in Baton Rouge and Lafayette who were affected by the floods in southern Louisiana last week. Check out the GoFundMe site here.

We’re starting to plan for an NSA march in October. We think this is an important idea, and this will be a great way to get involved in the stuttering community in a new, exciting, empowering way. Details are still TBD, so look out for emails about this in the near future.

Brooklyn group: The next Brooklyn chapter meeting will be Monday September 12th. Check out their site here for all info.

Getting involved: We’re always looking for new ways to continue to strengthen our growing stuttering community. Shoot us an email: nsamidtown@gmail.com with any ideas