May Recap

by Stavros Ladeas | May 22, 2016 | Recaps

…and our First Conference!

Last Monday we had our May monthly support group at our usual spot. Many of us had also attended our first local self-help conference the day before, where over 60 stutterers sat together and explored some of our community’s most important questions. This was a special day for many of us, and you can expect similar opportunities in the near future as our community here in NYC continues to grow.

As for our monthly meeting, we split up into three smaller groups, shared our thoughts about our conference, and much more. Here is a glimpse of what was discussed.

What are we?
Someone said he was taught that the word “stutterer” meant someone who was defined by stuttering and who let it bring them down, whereas “person who stutters” meant that the person was a person, and that stuttering was only a part of them. We responded by explaining that some people feel that way, but that other people feel otherwise. We went into the history of that a little, and about how the Did I Stutter blog and other people prefer “stutterer”. Someone said that when his stuttering really gets to him, he actually feels more like a stutterer than like a person at all.

Deaf Community
We talked about parallels between the Deaf community and the stuttering community. How the Deaf community has responded to the idea of “hearing loss” by arguing for “Deaf Gain”—the idea that being deaf brings some advantages and benefits—and whether stutterers might be able to do something analogous.

Benefits of stuttering
We talked about occasional benefits of stuttering. Bonding intimately during conversation, or even just making rude, impatient people uncomfortable on purpose. We recalled Emma’s quote from the conference from John Updike, which is so beautiful: “Those who stutter win, in the painful pauses of their demonstration that speech isn’t entirely natural, a respectful attention, a tender alertness. Words are, we are reassured, precious.” We discussed this idea, and what Updike might have meant when he said that speech isn’t entirely natural. (Updike stuttered.)

Taking it back
One of our members recently presented to her class what stuttering is, and how to best prepare a teacher when one of her students is a stutterer. This opened up an interesting conversation about whether a student should be called on in class, and what we would have preferred when we were kids. Going along with much of the theme from the day before at our conference, one of our members asked, how could it have been different for the student if the teacher not only knew about stuttering, but if the child actually lived in a world where she believed that stuttering was truly okay.

This is supposed to be inspiring?
We discussed how the media often talks about individuals overcoming their stuttering, and then going on to have successful professional careers. Here is one such example. Some of us expressed concern that these stories stigmatize stuttering. One member asked, ‘why not just say, this is a guy who stutters, he’s a good coach, and he’s successful in what he does?’ What does a child who stutters, or even an adult, think about their own stuttering when stuttering is too often viewed as something we should try to disassociate ourselves with?

Thank you to everyone for coming out on Monday night.

March Recap

by Stavros Ladeas | Apr 2, 2016 | Recaps

March Recap

Last week was an eventful week for people who stutter in our NYC community. On Monday our good friend Michael Turner flew in from Portland, OR to screen his documentary, The Way We Talk. Many of us made it out that night, and there were about 150 people in attendance. A special thank you to SAY and AIS for co-sponsoring the event, and to everyone who helped spread the word for the screening.

The next night we had a nice turnout of 23 people for our support group, including four first-timer PWS, and a handful of SLP students who were there to observe and learn. (By the way, our meetings are usually on the third Monday of the month, but with some winter holidays falling on this day and our Monday screening, we had the meeting on the Tuesday). We split into three smaller groups, and below is a little glimpse of several topics that came up throughout the groups.

The Way We Talk
A couple people gave a brief summary of Monday night’s documentary, and said it was empowering, and that it was awesome to see stuttering shown onscreen in a genuine, non-stereotypical way.

Media portrayal of stuttering 
A few of people expressed how they hoped for greater representation of normalized stuttering in the media, and half-jokingly, that it could all start in an AT&T commercial.

Is it our responsibility to educate others? 
Maybe? One member brought up the example that if we educate just one store clerk, it could end up touching multiple people who stutter.

A not so uncommon journey 
Being a stutterer can take us on a bit of a rollercoaster ride. For example…We feel bad about stuttering. Then we start coming to support group. Then we start feeling better about stuttering.  So we start stuttering more openly. Then we start feeling worse about stuttering again because of stuttering more openly. But maybe we start now to feel better again.

Our human emotions
A few member expressed how intellectually, we know that it’s ok to stutter.  But what we want is for our emotions to catch up to our intellect so we feel like it’s ok to stutter. This comes up often at groups, and seem like a central challenge in the lives of people who stutter.

Another perspective
Sometimes we get responses that surprise us when we disclose that we stutter. Sometimes listeners try to reassure us that everything is ok. But actually, that was because we apologized for stuttering. In general, when we advertise from an accepting, matter-of-fact place vs an apologetic one, our listeners respond better.

Therapy was lacking something 
Another member shared that while his speech therapist was very pleasant and that he didn’t mind being pulled out of class, his speech therapy was centrally focused on the goal of fluency and practicing speech tools to achieve that goal.  What was missing from the therapy was conveyance of the idea that STUTTERING IS OK.

Many of us ended the evening by going across the street for a drink and some laughs.

Announcements

NYC First Annual One-day conference 
Expect a day full of thought-provoking workshops on Sunday May 15th. The day will be for people who stutter, by people who stutter. This will be a first of its kind for our community here in NYC. We are expecting a great turnout with a few special guest speakers from out of town. Stay tuned for details. We will be publishing our website with registration within a week!

NSA Annual Conference 
If you are thinking about coming to this year’s annual conference, just come. Clickhere for details. If you haven’t been to an annual conference yet, and this whole thing seems a bit weird, you’re right it is. But in the coolest, most beautiful way you can imagine. This conference is known for changing lives. If you cannot afford the journey (to Atlanta), there is scholarship money available, so please reach out to us, and we’ll help you make this happen. We mean that.

April Outing
Let’s do something fun in April. Maybe an outing in Prospect Park, or we can get a group during one of these weekends and play billiards somewhere. We’d love to hear from you if you have any ideas, about an outing, or anything at all.

Till then,
Chaya, Michael, Stavro, Marc, Gabe
NSA Midtown Chapter Co-leaders

October Happenings

by Stavros Ladeas | Oct 31, 2015 | Recaps

The last couple weeks have been pretty eventful for the NYC stuttering community. NSA Brooklyn had one of their largest turnouts of the year (30 people!) and the following week the Midtown group had 34 members, with four brave first timers! At the Midtown group, as usual we split up into 3 small groups and discussed a range of topics – why we tell people about stuttering, how we advocate for ourselves. We’re keeping this one super short guys.

Fittingly, International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD) fell on the Thursday after our meeting (Oct 22nd). Some of us decided to educate our families, co-workers, classmates, peers about stuttering. Most people don’t know a thing about it, and the little they do know, they need to unlearn. Check out the official ISAD website, complete with cutting edge research and think pieces related to stuttering. There are some great pieces up this year.

And this past Sunday, we had our NYC October Outing – about 20 NSA members in the city gathered in Chinatown for Dim Sum Sunday. We ate many small plates of greasy, delicious dumplings, then strolled over the the World Trade Center Memorial..a very pleasant Sunday afternoon. Check out our Facebook page for some pictures, and for more info on upcoming events. We will be sending out information as well about events in November & December soon. We hope you can all make it to an event or two 🙂

Announcements

• We started a WhatsApp group for our members who want to be in touch to make plans to hang out with other people in our community. Sign up here.
• Mark your calendars for the Annual NSA in NYC Holiday Party on Saturday evening, Dec 12th! Location and exact time TBD.
• Next Queens meeting is Monday, Nov 2nd from 7:00-8:30Pm at the Flushing YMCA, Blue Room.
• Next Brooklyn meeting is Monday Nov 9th from 7:30 – 9PM at the Brooklyn YWCA (30 3rd Avenue)
• Next Midtown meeting is Monday, Nov 16th from 7:30-9PM as Aspire
• We want to hear from you. Please take one minute to send us your feedback and ideas!

Hope to see you all soon!

– Stavro | nycstutters.org