July Recap

by Michael Taub | Jul 30, 2016 | Recaps

July Recap

Twenty-nine people swam** through the NYC summer heat, last Monday July 18th, and successfully made it to the Aspire Center to share stuttering-related stories, challenges, memories, and to support each other — all within the confines of an air-conditioned and cool atmosphere.

Some of us talked about the benefits of advertising, including reducing anxiety levels, and the general positive response most people get from advertising. (For those of us unfamiliar with this, advertising just means telling whoever you’re talking with that you stutter. There are tons of ways to do this, and there’s certainly not a “right” or “wrong” way). Some of us also talked about the universal language and connection of stuttering-how one person in our group connected immediately to another person who stutters when he was on a different continent. Many of us who have been to the annual NSA conference may have experienced something like this first-hand – the common bond that exists between people who stutter. Even if our experiences haven’t spanned continents or languages yet, we might’ve even already been able to connect, through our common bond of stuttering, with people in our own midtown NSA group.

One of our members talked about how he had hidden stuttering for a long time, even from people close to him. He talked about how his fairly new journey of acceptance feels really good and that it’s also challenging. In a powerful and moving way, his story reminded us that it is never too late to start this kind of journey. As challenging as it may be to remember sometimes, the opportunity to work on our self acceptance is always available in some way, and personally I am reminded of how helpful coming to NSA support groups has been for this. Another member talked about a life transition, and we were reminded about how starting something new, whether it’s a new job, new school, etc. can be exciting and a bit nerve-racking. One of our members suggested that getting more involved in the NSA’s stuttering community during a time of transition can be very rewarding and powerful, and she reflected on how being part of the NSA has been central to her growth.

Another member asked how he could help out the stuttering community, and that he wanted to give back in some way. This was an opportunity to establish two important things. In a support group setting, we are all there for one another, and we have that part covered. But outside of the support group, the work we need to do is limitless. Many of us may not realize it, but when we advertise, when we stutter openly or when we talk about stuttering with others, we are not only advocating for ourselves, but we are showing the world what stuttering is, and we might even be unintentionally advocating for other stutterers who we haven’t even met. In this way, advertising really is an important contribution to our community. It’s pretty eye-opening when you take a step back and realize that advertising, in this way, has the power to transcend our own lives. Even if we are not consciously thinking about advertising in this broader way when are in our “moment” of advertising, it’s pretty cool to think about this.

**No one actually swam to group last week. This is my attempt at a metaphor.

February Recap

by Michael Taub | Feb 21, 2016 | Recaps

We had a great meeting this past Tuesday night, February 16^th. In total, 29 people came to the group. This was awesome in terms of just the number of people, but obviously even more awesome than that were the fun and genuine conversations had, stories and concerns shared, and laughter that pervaded our three mini groups that evening.

In one of the groups, an attendee shared a fear that his professional work would only be valued by clients out of sympathy for his stuttering. Several people responded and offered an alternative way to approach this. It’s impossible to know exactly why another person would appreciate your professional work, whether this is art, a paper or project for a course, or job performance. Usually this stuff is pretty “gray”, they said, meaning that realistically, it is possible that a person would appreciate what you do despite your stuttering. Perhaps they will support what you do in the workplace, onstage, in the gallery, behind the desk, etc. because of both the job you actually do,and maybe also due to your backstory as a person who is faced with the challenge of stuttering, but who persists anyway. It’s quite possible that people will admire you as a professional partly because of this resiliency. Yes, stuttering sometimes might set us apart in our professional lives…but in a lot of cases this can actually work in our favor. This can be challenging for us to see, so it is important for us to remind ourselves of every “small” success that we’ve experienced, especially during times when we find ourselves thinking about others’ perceptions of us.

Several members also talked about the power of writing about stuttering. They shared that whether it’s a poem, a memoir, or a journal entry, writing about stuttering can be one way to become more comfortable with expressing our feelings related to how we speak. Writing, and any other way that we might artistically express what stuttering means to us can be huge in terms of helping non-stutterers get a better idea of what stuttering actually is, in contrast to how stuttering has been portrayed by tv, films, and other forms of media in the past. Also, just as coming to any of the NYC support groups is a great way to actively become more open about stuttering with other people and with ourselves, perhaps writing about stuttering can be a meaningful part of this process as well.

Several groups discussed how acceptance has many layers, how it’s a continuum, a process, and how we may be at a higher level of acceptance at some times than at other times. We can accept our stuttering in general, but sometimes this can be more challenging in moments of more severe stuttering. An interesting analogy was brought up that might help to characterize this idea. Feeling like you’re about to stutter is kind of like feeling as if you’re about to sneeze.  It’s often uncontrollable and hits us unexpectedly, but instead of suppressing it, it is ok to let it out—no matter how “loud” it may be.

A question was brought up about whether we still use physical, therapeutic tools. Some group members said no, and that using tools contributes to shaming, while others said that they sometimes do use tools, such as voluntary stuttering. The reasons behind using tools like voluntary stuttering was discussed, and other people mentioned how sometimes we feel like a “traitor” to the cause when we happen to stutter less. People explained that sometimes they feel stuck between two worlds, never really belonging to one because sometimes they might stutter “too little,” or sometimes not at all.

We discussed the unspoken layer of communication that happens when we stutter, and how we may actually have a good amount of control over that. One of the newer members expressed how he has accepted that sometimes people interrupt him, while he’s blocking on a word.  Knowing how we would like our listeners to act while we’re talking, and dealing with the way these listeners might actually interact with us…..and knowing how we’d like to be perceived, while dealing with whatever perceptions we think  our listeners have of us……..these are challenges that most of us face many times throughout the day. This is one reason why many of us come to the group, to learn from others about how to navigate the road to self-advocacy, since our own voice is just as powerful as any other.

We talked about the portrayal of stuttering in movies, and culture in general. Some of the members who recently watched the short film, Stutterer, nominated for a 2016 Oscar, shared their thoughts about it. Although parts of the film appeared to be generally accurate, the group agreed that they value when stuttering is also depicted in an empowering way, just like how it is handled by many in our community. In any case, we agreed that a conversation that begins because of a film that stars a character who stutters, can be a positive thing since it’s an opportunity for us to educate people.

As always, we enjoyed talking with everyone. Looking forward to seeing you again in March.

Till then,

Chaya, Michael, Stavro, Marc, Gabe
NSA Midtown Chapter Co-leaders